Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Pleasure Principle

I have been known to laugh a lot, but I had dinner with friends a few nights ago and laughed until my eyes were blurry with tears. I discovered that four is a powerful combination which might have been the reason that Sex and the City was so popular--the connection when women click. None of us were wearing Christian Louboutins and no one was like any of the women in that show; except now I am a bit like Carrie Bradshaw in the moments that I liked best - when she deciphered human psyches in front of her.

Sexual innuendos were organic that night. Funny and serious. The thing is, that sex is supposed to be so taboo, and in the United States where its taboo nature runs rampant, we are amateurs. European and Asian films touch on and SHOW things that no matter if they put a NC-17 on an American film, it would be Sesame Street compared to these movies.

There is no problem showing a torture porn. I went to see the movie Lust, Caution where there ended up being about twelve people in the theater. Yet the line almost out of the door of the theater was for Saw IV. At the time, a young woman explained to me the draw of the film. I preferred lust I guess.

At dinner we were laughing, me laughing so hard and the guests at the other tables watching us, it became voyeuristic. Voyeurism comes with any pleasure I think. There is something provocative to people when they see pleasure, maybe that is the thing.

Is pleasure such a hard thing to fathom? Such a hard thing to witness? Once, in a more intimate setting with one other friend at another dinner, I had a woman frown at me because I was laughing. She was eating at Veselka where the food is so good when I eat there alone I am not distracted by other people's conversation at all.

I learned pleasure is a very powerful thing. It was a pleasurable evening with friends. Maybe the pleasure aspect is why anything erotic is such a hot button. Words, images, whatever.

I also learned at dinner that molten chocolate cakes provide a great deal of pleasure.


  1. Now I'm hungry, Fidencia! :) I agree, though...it seems people really do have a hard time allowing themselves to enjoy life and it's pleasures. It doesn't matter who Eric and I go out with, we always end up being the loudest, laughiest (yes, I had to make up a word!) group in the place. And I never apologize for it! I'm more than happy to indulge in life's pleasures :)

    Great post!

  2. Very insightful post, Fidencia. Yes, we Americans feel guilty about enjoying ourselves too much. Must be that "Protestant work ethic". (Though other religions are pretty good at piling on the guilt, too.) It is sad that we accept images of graphic violence more readily than images of graphic sex. Now, I'm going to Europe later this month so I'll have to check out the movies! :)

  3. You are right on target, F. Or should I say Carrie? Often times life just gets in the way and one forgets to take time out for family or friends; let alone one's self. I was at this restaurant once, and there was a table of friends in a corner having a great time. Their joy spilled over to the rest of us. So much so that the couple next to me paid the Friends table's tab! Guilty pleasure or not, a night out with the girls is great for keeping one sane; for energizing the body and the mind. The camaraderie, the laughter AND the molten chocolate cake are a must!

  4. Fidencia, what a great post! I'm quite disturbed by things like SAW having more sway than sweetness and pleasure, I'm really glad you brought that up. And I agree that a great evening with friends is one of the best things on earth. Molten chocolate not bad either. Wonderful blog m'dear!

  5. Fidencia, awesome post. Every once in a while I sit back and enjoy the little pleasures that life has to offer us. You're right, life gets in the way, however, I try my best to take advantage of the little things.
    And that Molten chocolate...mmm....sent it over to me!!!

  6. I agree. I write erotica and read horror, but don't get the popularity of movies like the "Saw" series, "Hostel," etc. I rarely turn down a night out with "my posse" because friends make life liveable. That photo of chocolate is heavenly and made me drool!