By Cathy Greenfeder
Since literature often mirrors life, women of all ages have fallen for those bad boys that your mother, your friends, or your common sense warn you about.
According to Psychology Today, every decade offers an “iconic bad boy who gets the girl. The rock stars, the dudes with the smoldering eyes at the bar, the strong silent types. The template can morph, but the assessment is the same – the guy’s got genes that make women weak in the knees, and the power and confidence that signal them.”
“From a Darwinian point of view, females are the choosier sex, and males compete for their attention. The result of this competition is that men have evolved strategies such as seeking alpha status.”
• 21 percent of women age 35 and older would rather take a chance with a bad boy than date someone slow and steady
• 31 percent of women with children younger than 18 would take a chance with a bad boy (compared with 16 percent of women without kids)
• “A Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence, and confidence,” says Michael Fitzgerald, author and relationship correspondent for AskMen.com. “To women, these traits – especially confidence – are an aphrodisiac.”
That Manly Smell
How often in your writing have you struggled to convey the scent of the male protagonist? Well, a research study in Prague asked 65 women to rate the smells of 48 men by smelling cotton pads that had been warn in their armpits for 24 hours. Before the study the men had been asked how dominant they felt. The women had to rate the scent of ten pads on the basis of intensity, sexiness, and masculinity. The study found that women who were at the most fertile stage of their menstrual cycle were more likely to rate the odor of the dominant man as sexy. Dr. Craig Roberts reported, “There seems to be some sort of physiological mechanism that directs women to indicators of good genes. The offspring of such a coupling would therefore be likely to have better genes.”
IQ vs. EQ (Emotional Intelligence)
According to Dr. Robert Holden, author of Success Intelligence, “IQ is all to do with your head and the meeting of minds. You could have two incredibly intellectually sparky people who know how to stimulate each other with a fantastic debate, but this in no way means they have what it takes for a long-term relationship.” In fact, according to Dr. Holden, “people with a high IQ lack a genuine sense of self-acceptance which leads to a very tortured mental existence and constant mental self-flagellation.” This can make highly intelligent people more fearful and anxiety ridden in their relationships than the average person. The article cites several cases where women who excelled in their careers ended up in disastrous relationships with men. Dr. Holden’s advice to successful career women is to “have a plan of what Mr. Right looks like. Don’t be too quick to dismiss someone because they don’t know who ruled the Byzantine Empire, or too quick to give yourself entirely to someone just because they laughed at your joke. Don’t be too dominant or competitive because that leads to short-term safety and long-term boredom. Finally, develop your EQ. Learn to have emotional strength which is about yielding, surrender, openness, and a willingness to be vulnerable. It is unreasonable to expect other people to love you more than you love yourself.”
Is There Any Hope?
So, choose wisely! ♥
For more information, see the following websites: http://advice.eharmony.com/, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/, http://www.psychologytoday.com/, www.sixwise.com/newsletters
Catherine Greenfeder is Vice President of RWANYC. Her two latest novels include, WILDFLOWERS, a historical western romance, and ANGELS AMONG US, a paranormal romance. Visit her at http://www.catherinegreenfeder.vpweb.com/. This article was first published in the RWANYC newsletter.