Tuesday, October 9, 2012
By Maria C. Ferrer
The scariest thing I’ve ever faced is the blank page.
It doesn’t matter how many “what if” scenarios are running through my head, how eager I am to get the story outline down on paper, sometimes just looking at that span of white paralyzes me. The lines run across the page taunting me, daring me to dirty them with ink, and so my pen hovers, scared to mar that glaring perfection.
But I do, and the relief is awesome. Fear has been conquered. Procrastination has been postponed. Creativity has triumphed. It doesn’t always happen easily or effortlessly, but it does happen.
I fill line after line of that blank page with my outline, my characters, my plots. I am mistress now. I rule. I even go so far as to cross things out on that prim canvas, and have been known to add arrows here and there, write sideways and squeeze in more words between the lines. I feel powerful. I am a Writer, with a capital W.
But I don’t get too cocky, because there is always another blank page to face tomorrow. And maybe that time I won’t triumph. I’ve been known to stare at a blank page for hours, if not days. It’s frightening when the creative well is dry. I can’t sit still; I blast my music; and I run my hands through my hair until even my loved ones run from me; and still nothing springs forth but fears and frustration.
What is a writer to do?!
Well, I take a deep breath. I doodle on the page. (If I can’t give it words, maybe flowers and stars will satisfy.) But I keep going back to that blank canvas, until my hovering pen finally makes a landing, and it’s my ideas, my characters that are running across the lines once again.
I can’t let fear of that blank page cripple me; otherwise, I’d never write a thing. So with determination and courage I persevere, and ready my thoughts and my pens to conquer again. ♥
Maria C. Ferrer writes contemporary romances under her real name, and erotica under the name of Del Carmen. She has sold erotica stories to Cleis Press and Ravenous Romance; and, her short fiction has appeared in Star, Penthouse and Cosmopolitan for Latinas magazines. Visit her at www.mydelcarmen.com, and follow her on twitter @mydelcarmen.