DON’T MENTION YOUR NOVEL, BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT GET OFFENDED

  
by Dr Annabelle R Charbit

What happens when the anti spam police go too far? In a fashion not unlike the effect of the PC police, we end up unable to say anything without offending someone. This article highlights the frustrations of authors struggling to be heard on the internet, yet having to do so under impossibly restrictive conditions.

Ok we get it, spam is bad. No one wants their newsfeed clogged with thousands of irrelevant adverts, or even relevant advertising, but a thousand times a day. We get it!

But I also think many people are taking their loathing of spam too far....

Let's say you're a writer with a new book about to come out. You may join writer's forums. And let’s say your book has a heavy rock-climbing theme, so you'll probably also join rock-climbing forums. And in all these forums you'll talk to hundreds of like-minded people who'll be happy to learn all about you… all that is except for the fact that you've written a book!

The moment you so much as hint at your achievement, bam the petty police (we all know who they are, every forum has at least one) send you hostile and bitter emails that this forum is not the place for self promotion.

Well if you're a writer in a writer's forum, then, one should be surprised if you DIDN'T have a book up your sleeve.

As mentioned before (this needs to be repeated, lest some self-righteous petty Betty, who didn’t read the first paragraph, says something asinine about spam) there is a difference between alerting relevant parties of your new product and bashing them over the head with it in the form of spam. A huge difference!

My editor put out a press release in which she explained that thanks to her fabulous editing, my book has found a publisher. Well, of course, I shared it to all my social media. It appeared on my Facebook wall (once) in relevant Facebook groups (once), on Twitter, Stumbleupon and LinkedIn (all once), among others. For the most part people were receptive and offered congratulations. But then there was the bitter mafia, who accused me of everything, from spamming to even faking the press release. One group member said that my publisher wasn't sufficiently well-known for me to claim that I had found a publisher, whilst another said that the press release contained “too much extraneous capitalization,” which made her suspicious.

The best was the sour puss who wrote "is this self promotion or are you advertising the services of your editor? If it’s the latter then fine, but if it's the former then it has NO place in this forum!" Then what exactly is this ‘writer's forum’ for, you sad, miserable witch?!

By the end of a day that had started upbeat and full of hope, due to the arrival of the press release, I was totally deflated and broken by so much hostility and plain nastiness. I must add that my book exists purely for entertainment purposes. I am not trying to sell anyone on a concept or a product, so I don't see the harm in letting people know that it's out there.

So what promotes this apparent aversion to other people's attempts to make something of themselves? Is it envy, the desire to see someone fail, or the fear that someone might succeed? And if that is the case, then don't worry petty police, by the time your done muzzling and breaking the spirits of people you've never even met before, many I'm sure will have given up hope and abandoned the project.

As for me, I'm still fighting the good fight, trying to navigate the increasingly strict rules of social media and the oversensitivity of petty people.

Because I may or may not have a novel coming out. I'd love to tell you more about it, but can't in case it offends someone. So I'll just say this, the title begins with A. Also I have a website, but you can't have the link because giving someone a link is a major spam crime.

So if you want me, you can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn, talking about everything and anything, and always diligently avoiding mentioning that I may or may not soon be a published author.

Oh, and if another person tells me to join google+, I'll throttle them - I get abused on enough social sites as it is.

P.S., in case anyone is wondering, the most vicious petty Betties live on LinkedIn, so beware.…♥

Dr. Annabelle Charbit grew up in London, UK, and has been writing since 2006. She holds a PhD in Neuroscience. Annabelle is also a playwright and a journalist. Her comedy play, Sound Advice, was performed by CP Theatre Productions in London. In 2010, she wrote for TheFrisky.com, an online magazine who commissioned her after noticing her blog, Crazy in a Crazy World. A LIFE LIVED RIDICULOUSLY is Annabelle's first novel. Visit her at http://www.ridiculouslife.net/.

WRITERCARE: Sitting is a Pain

By Elizabeth Knowles Palladino

As a writer, it is probably a given that you sit for hours in some kind of office chair. This can definitely cause low back pain or worsen back problems you already have. It is no secret that pain or discomfort lowers concentration. Obviously this will impact a writer’s ability to turn out a decent manuscript.

Sitting in general, especially if you slump or slouch, increases stress on the back, neck, shoulders, arms, and legs. It adds large amounts of pressure to your back muscles and spinal discs. What is a writer to do?

First of all, stay active and generally fit. Do exercises that strengthen your core—your abdomen and back. Always use good posture when sitting. Distribute your weight evenly, keep your feet flat on the floor, and do not slouch. Change your position often. At a bare minimum get up and stretch once every hour. More often is better—try adjusting your position every 20 to 30 minutes.

Make sure your chair, desk, and monitor are ergonomically adjusted to improve comfort and minimize lower back issues. Just purchasing an ergonomic chair is not enough. Visit www.spine-health.com/print/wellness/ergonomics/office-chair-how-reduce-back-pain for specific guidelines.

Low back pain is a leading cause of employee sick time. Don’t let pain make you call in sick for your writing career.♥



Elizabeth Knowles Palladino lives in Kingston, New York, where she works in health care and writes medieval romance. She writes a monthly WriterCare column for the RWANYC newsletter.

FORMATTING YOUR MANUSCRIPT

By Lisa Dale

Formatting Fiasco

When it comes to formatting most literary agents aren’t actually that picky, in my experience. However, bad formatting acts as a red flag to agent and editors, and that flag says “amateur.”  There aren’t really set rules about formatting a manuscript for submission.



But there are guidelines:

1. Use a clear, easy to read font—one font only. 12 pt, double-spaced, standard one-inch margins.

2. Put something like this in the upper left corner (in the header) on your manuscript pages: Your Last Name/Your Title/page number.

3. Chapters begin about three double spaces down the page with a page break between chapters.

4. If you include a title page, keep it simple: Your title, by your Real Name, writing as Pen Name. Then include your full contact information in the lower right corner.


Common mistakes I’ve seen

1. Compile all your chapters into one file.

2. There’s no need for a table of contents/chapter outline unless you’re writing prescriptive nonfiction. As a side note, there’s no need to write a chapter-by-chapter synopsis…but that’s a story for another time.

3. Don’t try to make your manuscript pages look like a book—you know, wide margins, 1.25 spaces between lines, etc. Even if you manage to make your word processor look bookish, agents will know the difference.

4. If you’ve self-published your book, don’t submit your PDF page proofs in lieu of submitting your typed pages. Also, don’t submit your full book or your bound book unless requested.

5. Your last name should appear on every page.

6. Courier’s time has passed. Yes, it’s a great, nostalgic font. But it’s kinda dated, and using it on your manuscript is like showing up to a party in a ruffled cummerbund.

Happy formatting!♥

Lisa Dale is the author of SIMPLE WISHES and IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (Grand Central), and SLOW DANCING ON PRICE’S PIER (Berkley, 2011), which was a Top Pick and Barnes and Noble and BookPage magazine. Her newest release, A PROMISE OF SAFEKEEPING (Berkley), received a warm review from Publisher’s Weekly, which used adjectives “emotional… surprising… spectacular… hooray!”
Okay, maybe that last word was Lisa’s.

WTF--Cursing in Fiction

by Isabo Kelly

I need to preface this article by saying two things. First, I’m going to use bad words. It’s hard not to in an article about cursing. You have been warned.

Second, I had no idea how controversial the issue of cursing in fiction was until I started doing a little research. There are very strong feelings about whether or not swear words are necessary at all, particularly in religious-focused genres and YA (though high fantasy seems to come up in the discussion a lot too). For the record, I’m only going to discuss how to use these words effectively in fiction. Whether or not this kind of language is actually included in your stories is entirely up to you, the needs of the story, the genre conventions and expectations, and the characters being developed.

But if you are going to incorporate those “bad” words…

As with the use of any distinctive language, curse words can be very effective in conveying tone, setting and character. But like any interesting or complex word, the overuse of profanity can also snap readers out of a story. There is a real danger of both watering down the impact of the words and making them feel annoying and monotonous. When using swear words (or for that matter jargon, foreign languages and slang), the balance is all important.

Let’s talk specifically about how cursing is used by and relates to your characters. How often a character cusses and the specific words used is a direct reflection of, can provide great insight into, and really helps with developing your heroes and heroines.

The situation the character finds themselves in should always play an important part in their level of cussing. There are times when even the most foul-mouthed heroine will have to curb her tongue and when the most straight-laced hero will let loose with a sound, “sonofabitch!”

Your character’s job will also impact their word usage. A career soldier is more likely to curse regularly than your average kindergarten teacher. That’s not to say the kindergarten teacher wouldn’t, especially under stress, but the choice of words is probably going to be mitigated by all the time she spends around children—the use of sugar instead of shit for example. And our teacher actually saying “shit” is going to have an impact on the reader that our soldier’s more liberal use of “fucking bastards” might not.

Your character might come from a culture or background in which cussing is just part of everyday language. If this is the case, it’s important to include that feeling in their speech but without taking the usage too far. Just as with any dialogue, real conversation doesn’t translate exactly to the page. Fictional dialogue is edited to read well and simulate realism, not transcribe it. So even if in real life every other word out of your character’s mouth would be a swear word, their dialogue needs to be tailored for the page.

Let’s look at an example: “Ah man, that fucking thing was the fucking worst fucking thing I’ve ever fucking come across in my fucking life. Would you fucking believe my fucking dickwad of a boss asked me to fucking deal with it before the end of the fucking day? Bastard sticks me with that sonofabitch at five on a fucking Friday night for fuck’s sake.”

That’s a lot of fucking in one paragraph. To be fair, if this was only one paragraph in your novel and you did this for the impact and to impart a particular impression of the character speaking, you could almost get away with it. But if this is your main character and they talk like this all the time, readers will get tired of all the cussing very quickly. They will either start skimming the dialogue, or worse, put the book down.

To give the impression of a character that curses liberally while preventing your readers from walking away from your book, cut back on the quantity and use the words where they will have the strongest impact.

“Ah man, that thing was the worst fucking thing I’ve ever come across in my life. Would you believe my dickwad of a boss asked me to deal with it before the end of the fucking day? Bastard sticks me with it at five on a Friday night for fuck’s sake.”

You could even eliminate one or two more “fuck”s and still convey the intentions of the dialogue and character effectively. As with many good things, with profanity less is more.

When delving into the internal narration of your character, incorporating swear words also has to be well balanced. Just as in dialogue, use these words only at the most significant places so they will have the greatest impact. Also, even though a character might cuss liberally in their speech, they might not necessarily think in the same terms. A good way to limit the use of profanity in a book where a character does curse a lot is to take out almost all incidences of swearing from the internal narration and limit the words to dialogue.

Beyond quantity, word choice is important to pay attention to, and again, cultural background will play a huge role here. The word “fanny” isn’t considered particularly naughty in America, but say it in England or Ireland and you’re using a very bad word. (For the record, “fanny” on that side of the Atlantic is a hard, mostly derogatory word for a woman’s genitalia.) On the other hand, most Irish people don’t consider the word “cunt” nearly as bad as American’s do. Even innocuous words like “pants” or “box” can have very different meanings and connotations. And that’s just with cultures that technically speak the same language! If your character speaks a language other than English, and you need that person to curse, do some research on what profanities might realistically be used. Don’t assume because it’s a bad word in the US, it’s a bad word in Japan.

(As a side note, if you write speculative fiction, there’s a whole other layer of world-building involved with creating and using profanities. I’ve included a link below to an excellent couple of articles by Rita-Award winning SFR author Linnea Sinclair on just that topic.)

For those who either don’t want to use profanity or want to limit the on-the-page use to only a few significant moments, there is always the fall back option of simply saying, “he cursed”, or some variation on that. Even if you are using profanity liberally, you might want to use a few of these phrases to help control the balance of those words in your story.

The danger with using this technique, however, is that it can dilute character development. When an American firefighter cusses, she will likely be using some different words from an English or Canadian firefighter. Without showing those words on the page, the reader looses a small but significant insight into your character. Whether that small sacrifice in realism is important to the story or not is entirely up to the author.

Using this default of telling the reader someone curses rather than showing the words can also become as monotonous as the swear words themselves so consider every instance carefully.

On a last note, the use of sexually explicit terminology has increased significantly over the last few decades. With the rise of erotica and erotic romance, a lot of words are no longer quite so taboo as they once were. For example, “cock” shows up all the time in mainstream romances now. Using this kind of graphic language is entirely up to the author. However, graphic words can carry a great deal of impact and really add to the power of a sex scene.

Using bad language is like any other aspect of crafting your story. You have to use it thoughtfully. Swear words can convey a lot about character, setting and tone, and can add grit and realism to your fiction. But overuse can bore the reader and come across as forced. Just remember the less-is-more rule, then don’t be afraid to let the profanities roll.♥

Isabo Kelly’s latest fantasy romance, BRIGHTARROW BURNING, had any number of awkward sentences before editing, most of which were rescued by one of the tips above. For more about Isabo and her books, visit her at www.isabokelly.com, follow her on Twitter www.twitter.com/IsaboKelly and friend her on Facebook www.facebook.com/IsaboKelly

RESOLUTIONS, GOALS, TO-DO LISTS

  
By Maria Ferrer

It's a New Year.  A time for joy, for peace, for goodwill, for resolutions.  But resolutions are easily broken. Heck, it's a tradition to break them, and yes, Virginia, the sooner you break them the more points you get.

Hence, I don't like the word or the idea of "resolutions." I prefer goals or my all-time favorite, to-do lists.  I get orgasmic if I can cross something off a list.  Ooh.

So I've compiled my to-do list for 2012.  The "trick" to a good to-do list is to be specific, to be realistic and to keep it short.  For example:

1.  Get up one hour early on weekdays to write or revise manuscript.
2.  Have new pages for Critique partner every other week.
3.  Attend monthly RWA Chapter meetings to network and energize.
4.  Submit short story / enter contest every quarter.

Short, sweet and to the point -- and better yet, these items are achievable and affirming to the Writer within.  And, isn't that the whole point of New Year's Resolutions?

I will submit my To-do list to RWANYC's 2012 Time Capsule at the January 7 meeting.  It will be fun to see how much I have achieved and how many items I will be able to cross off my list at year's end.

Hope to see you there as well. Until then, Happy New Year, Happy Writing!

NEXT CHAPTER MEETING: Saturday, January 7, at TRS at 44 East 32nd Street, 11th floor, 12 noon.




Maria Ferrer writes erotica and contemporary romance. She's published in one and hopeful on the other.  Visit her at www.mydelcarmen.com and www.4horsewomen.blogspot.com.  She is also RWANYC's newsletter editor and is always looking for writers and stories. Hint. Hint.