THE SOMETIMES-ROCKY TRAILS AND TRIALS OF PACING

by Margaret Birth

I like to go hiking with my husband. The only problems I have with it, on occasion, are the pain when my fibromyalgia and arthritis act up, the anxiety that takes hold of me when I try and traverse rocky inclines, and the fact that I sometimes have difficulty keeping up with my husband’s long-legged stride. In writing, as in hiking, pacing is influenced by a number of different issues. Some of those issues include dialogue versus exposition, change versus stasis, and choice of words and punctuation.

Dialogue versus exposition is one version of description versus action, but it’s a very specific version, because the assumption is that dialogue equals action because characters are often talking out their conflicts or plotting future plans together, and yet exposition does not necessarily indicate inaction. Exposition is everything that’s not dialogue—and that’s a wide, wide range of things that can include descriptions of characters’ actions (running, leaping, tackling criminals, and all sorts of interesting, exciting stuff that moves a story forward). While exposition, particularly exposition about characters’ actions, doesn’t necessarily fall into the trap of stasis that can so easily occur with other description, it doesn’t move pacing as quickly as the back-and-forth of dialogue can. Dialogue—the parts of a story that appear within quotation marks—has a certain immediacy that no other kind of writing within a story has. The one caveat here is that the dialogue shouldn’t be small talk that goes nowhere; it needs to consist of back-and-forth interaction involving two or more characters who are trying to advance their own goals or work out their differences. Internal dialogue, however—also known as internal monologue—which is often printed in italics, and represents a character’s thoughts, has an opposite (slowing) pacing effect compared to spoken dialogue. The magic of spoken dialogue is that the words stand for themselves—they say it all, and they say it all in the characters’ own words, without any extra sugar-coating or interpretation from a narrator.

Characters can say and do all sorts of things, but if they don’t somehow change within the course of a story—meet a goal, contend with a problem, make some sort of discovery, have some kind of revelation—the story has stasis, and the pacing slows wa-a-a-ay down. Probably the most common version of this in romance writing is the story of the couple that meets, is attracted to one another, and just keeps going places and doing things and falling deeper in love until he proposes, and she accepts, and that’s the end. When a reader sees characters who face conflicts but try compromises, or adjust their goals, or create new goals, or abandon old rivalries, or solve mysteries, or escape past tragedies, and continue on, what they’re seeing is character growth and change—and this growth and change keeps the pace moving.

Finally, the poet in me can’t resist a brief discussion of some of the ways in which line lengths, word choices and punctuation can affect pacing. Short lines, or at least short paragraphs, lead to fast pacing. Long paragraphs are often long because they include more description than dialogue; this results in slower pacing—which can be all right if you’re aiming for the story to have a more relaxed mood in that section. Alliteration, consonance, and assonance, which are three different types of sound repetitions (of beginning consonant sounds, consonant sounds within words, or vowel sounds within words), are all great ways to give a subtle sense of urgency within a sentence. Any stop-mark you use in punctuation—whether a comma (,), an em dash (—), a semi-colon (;), or a period (.)—slows the pacing; that’s one reason that publishers these days are reducing the use of complex sentences and even commas wherever they can.

If you understand those elements in writing that can cause a story to move slower or faster, then you will not only have the power over the pacing in your writing, but you will be able to use pacing to achieve exactly the effect that you want your writing to have upon your readers. Then, if you’re like me, you may want to celebrate your well-paced writing—I suggest enjoying a hike. ♥



Margaret Birth is a Christian writer who has been widely published in short fiction, short nonfiction, and poetry, and is currently drafting a novel called A FAMILY FOR FAITH.
  
 

CUT TO THE NIGHTSTAND: WRITING UNDERSTATED SEX SCENES

By Lisa Dale

I love a good love scene. But since my romantic novels share many of the same concerns as women’s fiction, it simply wouldn’t be appropriate for me to write eight-page sex scenes in a book whose primary emotional concerns are outside of the bedroom.

For that reason I—and many other authors—have learned to write sex scenes that are highly erotic, and yet not explicit. In other words, we have to bring the sexy without the gritty details of the actual sex! It’s no easy task. Here are some tips that may help!


1.  Balancing sexual tension with actual sex. If your characters are having explicit phone sex, then at some point they’re going to have to get it on in real time—explicitly. But if your sexual tension isn’t so blunt—with the tug of war happening via intense innuendo—then you’re in a good position to write your sex scenes with equal innuendo. Be sure you’re consistent.


2.  Don’t be shy. Sometimes, a writer will avoid a sex scene altogether. In movies, you’ll see this as the old “cut to the bedside lamp” shot. Or the “couple falls breathless on the floor and smiles at each other” shot. But writing a novel that has understated sex scenes is different than writing a novel that avoids sex altogether. And that means you may need to skip the old, “afterward, they were in bed cuddling” bit and just go for the sex scene, albeit in a suggestive way.


3.  Suggest, imply, and hint. IMHO, it can be more difficult to gently imply “he bent her over the table and screwed her brains out” then it is to bluntly describe the physical act of what’s happening. So implying and hinting may take a little extra work, but it can be worth it.

In SLOW DANCING ON PRICE'S PIER, the main characters have sex in a kitchen. But my description is spare. I’m using language along the lines of “He turned her around so her palms were pressed flat on the table, the wooden edge biting into the bones of her hips. His hands brushed the base of her spine as he loosed his zipper.” You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to read between the lines!


4.  Think outside the box. Certain erogenous zones feature repeatedly in highly detailed sex scenes. Readers come to expect language like penis, breast, buttock, etc. But if you want to craft a moment of sexual tension that is erotic but subtle, think: inside of wrist, back of knee, belly button, etc. Sometimes, these less frequently mentioned parts can be very attention-grabbing, even shocking and provocative, since they are not so frequently used.


5.  Break your book’s “rules.” If you’re writing an understated but sexy book, you’re in a great position to really knock your reader’s socks off. A reader who has been cruising along, comfortable with the suggestive, evocative tone of sex scenes will be more profoundly affected by the occasional “I want to make you come” than a reader who has been made comfortable with that kind of shocking language all along. Dialogue is an especially good place for the occasional bit of explicit sexiness. But beware: this can backfire if not done carefully, making the language look clumsy and out-of-control. ♥



Lisa Dale’s most recent novel, A PROMISE OF SAFEKEEPING, was released in January with Berkley. Her 2011 book, SLOW DANCING ON PRICE'S PIER, was nominated for a RITA in contemporary single title romance. Visit her at www.LisaDaleBooks.com.
  

THE SHERIFF WAS GOING TO SHOOT HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES

  
By Jeanine McAdam

The sheriff was going to shoot him right between the eyes if only he could draw a bead on the dog. In Gordo, Alabama (median income $23,813) there isn’t an Animal Care & Control agency or an ASPCA. There are only the police to keep the abandoned, homeless, unwanted canine population off the streets.

Thankfully Labs4Rescue (http://www.labs4rescue.org/) came to the rescue! They provide loving foster homes, spray/neutering services and a free trip north for sixty five dogs in a Rescue Road Trip trailer (www.rescueroadtrips.com). Rumor has it, when the truck crosses the Mason-Dixon Line the dogs bark and howl. Along the way volunteers walk these wonderful creatures and post pictures and messages on Facebook for their forever families to view.

Two weeks ago our chocolate lab with the fine name of Aaron arrived via this underground canine railroad. In an empty parking lot in Rockland County and holding a homemade sign that said “Welcome Home Aaron”, we met the Rescue Road Trip trailer. Yes, I cried when our big boy got off that trailer. After taking pictures with other rescue families, the road trip driver and wishing everyone good luck we brought this new addition to our family home.

Aaron is seventy pounds of love with droopy brown eyes, webbed feet and a disposition to please. That continuous look of admiration in his eyes took time to get used to, plus there’s the insatiable desire to ride in the car. Any car, if a door opens in Manhattan--Aaron’s there! Which can be hilariously problematic when trying to explain to a jaded New Yorker that my dog is panting over their back seat.

Since Aaron regularly plops his shiny brown head into my lap while I write, I’ve been thinking a lot about romance hero’s and their dogs. A guy in worn Levis and a torn t-shirt with a dog at his side is HOT. But not any old dog, it has to be a big dog. A black, yellow or chocolate labrador, a german sheppard or even a golden retriever. These four-legged friends for life will have the reader’s hearts fluttering.

Besides being big our hero’s dog needs to be well behaved. Sit when the hero snaps, growls when danger is lurking in the woods just beyond the camp fire or chases down the bad guys when the hero is trying to save the heroine’s child. Plus, there’s the mandatory pulling of his master from a wrecked car just before it explodes.

Sound sexist--I completely agree. Let’s look at the heroine. Nora Roberts wrote a book called THE SEARCH. The heroine was a dog trainer and she depended on her three labs for security, protection and companionship. The imprisoned psycho killer trained a prodigy to hunt the heroine down (she escaped years ago from his teacher). With her wits, her dogs and a little help from the hero, this brave woman saves herself.

Will my next story be about Aaron and the volunteers doing such wonderful work to save him and others like him? You betcha! I just need to take some advice from my big brown boy--sit, stay and write!♥




Jeanine McAdam’s short story, "A Cowboy's Toughest Ride," will be published in May by Secret Cravings Publishing. Aaron is super excited too.

CRAFT CORNER: Hopping 'Round Those Heads!

by Isabo Kelly

You’ve heard it before—avoid “head hopping” at all costs! But what is it and why should you not do it?

First, it’s important to distinguish between “head hopping” and point of view shifts. Romance stories are frequently told through the eyes of at least two characters, hero and heroine, so the admonition to avoid head hopping is not a call to stick to only one character’s point of view throughout a story. It’s an appeal to control the use of those POVs.

A point of view shift is when the author moves from one POV character’s perspective to another’s with the change usually indicated by a line, scene or chapter break. Each character should have their own tone and voice, so each scene shown from their POV should feel distinct and specific to the character.

Head hopping, on the other hand, is jumping around from one character’s thoughts to the next not only within the same scene, or paragraph to paragraph, but sometimes even within a paragraph. Thoughts of all characters, including minor walk-on characters, often slip into the narration and readers get dizzy.

Jumping around from one POV to another and sometimes not even being in a character’s thoughts does happen validly in third person omniscient. But this type of storytelling is not seen much in commercial fiction. Modern readers like to get into the head of one character at a time and really experience the story through that character. When the term head hopping is used in craft discussions, we’re talking about stories that are supposed to be written in close third person limited, stories where readers are expecting to experience the events of the novel through a particular character’s thoughts and feelings.

Though considered a pet peeve by many, head hopping is still frequently seen in published works. Why? Because the truth is, if an author can carry it off successfully with skill and purpose, agents, editors and readers will accept it. The problem is most authors can’t carry it off, and that indicates to agents and editors a lack of control of authorial voice by the writer.

There are a lot of drawbacks to head hopping as well. Sudden shifts can pull readers out of the story as they try to figure out who’s doing the thinking. Suspense and tension is dissipated because the reader sees into all the characters heads at once, leaving nothing to figure out and therefore no reason to continue reading. Again, each character’s voice should actually be distinct within a novel, so shifting randomly back and forth between those varying tones is jarring. And in the publishing world, there are purists who will reject you outright for committing this “sin”. Unless you have a very good reason for using it, it’s to your benefit to simply avoid the habit.

Here’s an example of head hopping:

“Janet could not believe Harry claimed to hate dogs? Who didn’t like dogs? What a rotten way to start the date. Harry loved dogs, but there was no way he’d admit as much to Janet. Her ex-husband had hated dogs and he’d been the worst possible excuse for a man she’d ever come across. She had been acting like a bitch from the moment he knocked on her door. He wanted a way out of this damned fixed up date.

“Janet swallowed as she tried not to hear his slurping, loutish eating. Her abusive husband had those same habits. Why would Sam even think this man was right for her? He ignored a big glop of food at the corner of his mouth. Harry laughed inwardly as he watched Janet stare at the food on his face. That aught to get this stuck-up fashionista out of his life and there was no way Sam could blame him for it. She forced a smile, trying not to show her disgust. Wipe that mess off, she thought as panic set it.”

Confused yet? Okay, so this isn’t a great scene but as an example, you can see how this is disorienting and there’s no suspense. Sticking to either character’s POV will not only fix the dizziness for readers, it will add to the tension of the scene. If we’re in Janet’s POV, we won’t know that Harry is doing this on purpose and may actually think he’s a dog-hating slob. If we’re in Harry’s POV, we won’t realize that Janet’s false smiles and disgust are driven by something deeper. Additionally, Harry’s voice is different to Janet’s. Hers is tinged with rising panic and his with irritation. But mixing those all up in the same paragraph means we don’t get a good sense of either character. That’s a big problem with head hopping. It can lead to distancing from your important characters. What if I’d thrown in the thoughts of a random customer sitting at a nearby table watching the fashonista and the slop? Not only would that throw the reader completely out of the scene but it would keep us from really getting inside the heads of our main characters.

Head hopping is considered a great craft sin by some, by others it’s only a minor annoyance or not even noticed at all. But agents and editors do take note of it in books they’re considering. Editing it out can often be difficult to impossible, and if it’s not working, if it’s done because the author didn’t have the control to stick to a single perspective, it’s an easy reason to reject a manuscript. Mastering the technique of shifting POVs carefully and skillfully while avoiding head hopping ensures readers lose themselves in your fiction rather than just losing interest and putting your book down. ♥



Isabo Kelly has spent many years trying to weed excessive description out of her fiction. Sometimes, she even succeeds. Sometimes, she succeeds too well (but that’s another article). Her latest fantasy romance, BRIGHTARROW BURNING, is available now from Samhain Publishing. Visit her at http://www.isabokelly.com/  for more on her books, or follow her on Twitter @IsaboKelly.

THE JOY OF WRITING

By Addison Fox

There are many milestones on the writer’s journey – finishing your first manuscript, going to your first RWA meeting, finally telling people you are writing a book – and a million others that make up our lives as writers.



One of the things that often gets lost, however, is the simple joy of writing.

Don’t get me wrong, setting and meeting goals for ourselves is essential. But all-too-often, the focus on those goals can cause us to forget the joy of why we’re doing what we’re doing.

So today, let’s celebrate why we write!


• The beauty of a perfect sentence.

• The hours spent with our characters – people as real to us as our family and friends.

• The joy of typing THE END.

• The fun in opening up a new word document and typing CHAPTER ONE.

• The sheer excitement when what we see in our minds is translated to the page.

• The perfect writing day – when the words fall from our fingers as fast as we can type them.

• The not-so-perfect writing day when we’d rather beat our heads against the wall next to our desk yet we still manage to produce pages.

• The joy of finishing a chapter at 3 AM (please say that’s not just me!!)


So join me today and let me know what some of your favorite writing moments are.  Happy Writing!
  

 
Addison Fox can’t remember a time when words weren’t a part of her life. An avid reader across genres, she has a special place in her heart for romance. She has back-to-back releases in her Sons of the Zodiac series in April and May. April's release, WAVE OF MEMORIES, features her Aquarius and is an eNovella from Penguin and May's full length title, WARRIOR ENCHANTED, features her Pisces hero.  Visit her at www.addisonfox.com.  Friend and follow her on www.facebook.com/addisonfoxauthor, www.twitter.com/addisonfox.

WRITERCARE: Caffeine--Friend or Foe?

by Elizabeth Knowles Palladino

You aren’t alone if you use one of the world’s most common psychoactive substances, caffeine. Caffeine meets all the criteria for being addictive. It creates dependency, tolerance, and withdrawal symptoms if it is suddenly discontinued.

Caffeine has many effects on the body’s metabolism. In stimulating the central nervous system, it alleviates fatigue and increases wakefulness—two factors of extreme importance to most writers.

How much caffeine is safe, and how do you know if you’re getting too much? Moderate doses of two to four cups of brewed coffee a day—200 or 300 mg. of caffeine--are probably not harmful. You may want to limit your intake if you are experiencing insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, or irritability. Don’t let caffeine interfere with your need for adequate sleep. Studies continue to show that sleep deprivation causes lingering cognitive deficits—definitely not helpful for your manuscript. Consider avoiding caffeine for eight hours before bedtime.

The body does not store caffeine, but its effects do persist for many hours. As a writer you are doing a balancing act. Use caffeine appropriately for alertness and zip. Don’t let it take over and undermine your career with its negative side effects.♥



Elizabeth Knowles Palladino lives in Kingston, New York, where she works in health care and writes medieval romance.  She writes a monthly WRITERCARE column for RWANYC's newsletter.

CAN YOU TELL A BOOK BY ITS COVER?

by Maureen Osborne

When my need to escape is awakened, I prefer erotic fiction. Erotica fuels my imagination and challenges the boundaries I erect against modern society. Literary, mainstream or ebooks, they have all satisfied this voyeur. And though erotic fiction is visually provocative, publishers do not always offer book covers that are as provoking as the narrative.

The primitive look of some ebook covers barely warrant a second look by the reader; let alone surrender. Artwork is often cobbled together from different sources and then layered on the page creating a distorted image. The title is created in a font that seems childish against the content of the story. Models seem to be chosen based on their level of undress with little to no thought given to sexuality or attraction.

Even more visually challenging are covers that resemble comic art. Though creative and subliminal, they do not immediately evoke eroticism nor simulate what the characters may look like.

A well crafted cover is an invitation to an exclusive private party. Two men and a woman, a woman alone or straddling another, the back of a man with his hands tied are all provocative requests to indulge.

Though it did not stop my re-reading the STORY OF O, the very banal cover photo of a seated woman in a black lace teddy and pale stockings did little to ignite my imagination. Considering the complicated story within, the weary looking model shielding her eyes, belied the resolute force O tapped into throughout the tale.

The Jana Rene Crucker photo on my copy of BELLE DE JOUR is a salute to Séverine and every woman who desired to be both wife and mistress. The model wears a bra and half slip seated on the floor of a shabby room in front of a mirror, an exploration of self, marriage or sex? Only the bottom half of her face and painted lips are shown looking back over one shoulder. The photo hides much of what we long to know.

Then of course, there is THE LORDS OF SATYR series written by Elizabeth Amber. DANE, her current novel is dominated by the photo of a nude male. There is no maybe, only the demand for surrender.

Whether subtle (SINFUL, Charlotte Featherstone), inviting (BAD AS SHE WANTS TO BE, Thea Devine) or blatant (HER PRIVATE JOHN, Betty Womack), erotic fiction demands cover art that invites the reader inside and to fuel the imagination before the narrative begins. ♥



Maureen Osborne is an aspiring author and member of RWANYC.  Her current project is an historical mystery that takes place in the French Quarter of New Orleans.

FOOL FOR LOVE

by Mingmei Yip

A contemporary Chinese author asked, “What is love, is it to hold hands till we die?”

Three thousand years ago in a book called the CLASSIC OF SONGS, an anonymous poet said something similar, “I’ll hold your hand and grow old with you.”

That’s what we mortals want for love – someone to love us and shelter us through rain and storm till the end. It is because of this desire for true and eternal love that we’re also given false promises and often thrust on a path of futile pursuit.

Love can make fools of us all.

Lily Lin, the protagonist in my last novel, SONG OF THE SILK ROAD, is such a person – falling hopelessly in love with a married man who has a child. Of course the man holds out the possibility of marriage to lure her to warm his hotel bed. Lily continues to make a fool of herself until she meets Alex Luce, a fellow adventurer on the Silk Road. Even though she knows Alex truly loves her, she still can’t leave her married lover for the younger Alex. It takes a near-fatal accident in the Go-In-But-Never-Come-Out Taklamakan Desert, when Alex risks his life to retrieve her precious necklace, that Lily finally realizes she has been a fool for love. ♥



Mingmei Yip’s upcoming novel, SKELETON WOMEN (Kensington Books, June 2012), is a story about a singer/spy, a magician and a gossip columnist, all scheming to survive the gang wars in the thirties Shanghai.  Her previous books include, SONG OF THE SILK ROAD, PEACH BLOSSOM PAVILION and PETALS FROM THE SKY.  Mingmei also wrote and illustrated the CHINESE CHILDREN'S FAVORITE STORIES (Tuttle). She is now working on her second children’s book. In Hong Kong, Mingmei was a columnist for seven major newspapers. She has appeared on over 60 TV and radio programs in Hong Kong, Taiwan, China and the US. Visit her at http://www.mingmeiyip.com/.

  

MEMBERS ON THE SHELF: APRIL

  
The following RWANYC members have books out this month – Annabelle Charbit, Dee Davis, Addison Fox, Kate McMurray and Suleikha Snyder. Their covers are below.  Please buy a book or two or five and support your local authors.  Thank you.

 

HAPPY READING!

  

COMING SOON TO PRIME TIME!

By Lise Horton

Are you a fan of heaving bosoms and throbbing loins? Well, then, welcome to LAST WRITER STANDING! Our premiere show of a brand new reality competition that will prove the adage – the pen IS mightier than the sword!

69 romance writers will go head to head in tonight’s season opener and by the end of our 2 hour special the judges will have awarded only 25 ladies a final place in the completion. For the next ten weeks we’ll put these gals through their paces as they work on completing an entire romance novel, before the grand three-part finale when one of the lucky authors will win cash and prizes unmatched in reality competition history!

Before we meet these lusty ladies, let’s meet our judges: You know her best as the Queen of Romance. Author of over 900 romance novels, which have been translated into 73 languages including Urdu, and with sales over 2 billion, she’s going to be one tough judge – after all these ladies might give her a run for her money! She’s Desiree DeLong!!

Our next judge scored the publishing coup of the century when she signed brand new 21 year old romance author Rosalie Randy to a six book deal that’s blown the lid off the romance industry and the first motion picture based on these hot, hot, hot books bowed to a whopping $1 billion dollar opening weekend! She’s Editor in Chief of Passion Publishing, Eudora Stella!

Judge number three earned her chair by getting into the Guinness Book of World Records by reading 729 romance novels in one year – that’s two a day, folks, except for the day after Thanksgiving when she had food poisoning because she didn’t cook the turkey long enough – I guess you should have put that book down, huh Wanda? Wanda Uberbeck, ladies and gentlemen.

And last, but certainly never least, our head judge is known the world over for his flowing locks and the pecs that launched a thousand sighs – Welcome the one, the only FABIO to our judging table!

Now without further ado, let’s meet the contestants. They come from all over the country, including Wasilla, Alaska where our contestant pens naughty stories during those long dark winter nights, except when she’s working on her Caribou farm, and all the way across the map to NYC where our Big Apple lady gets on-the-job inspiration as a Manhattan sex therapist. Ladies, come on down and take a bow.

When we come back from our first break, the judges are going to put these women through the wringer with a fifteen second lightning “elevator pitch” round. When we’re all done, there’ll be only 25 writers standing. But before we begin, they’ll get the first taste of what we’ll be throwing at them. They were told they’d have to come on the show and write an entire novel in just ten weeks, but hold the phone! Not just ANY romance novel – we’ll be giving them each a little surprise basket that contains the elements they’ll have to use! From names, physical descriptions and occupations for their characters, to a specific location, and the basic plot they have to use – it’s going to be every lady for herself!

And next week we’ll watch at the 25 will be challenged in a lightning round edit session of their first chapter, with special guest judge, Dean of Whistling Falls’ Creative Writing Department, Elvis Ostralonger, author of the seminal academic work, “The Romance Canon and Its Influence on the Supreme Court”. All on the way to our showdown finale when one lucky lady wins a ten book publishing deal, a writing room makeover by Martha, maid service once a week to make sure she’s got time to pen her torrid tales, catered meal service for a full year to keep the hubby happy, two weeks all expense paid vacation on The Love Boat (Where else?), a lifetime supply of Red Ruby Pink Champagne and Heavenly Chocolate Bon Bons, and $5 million kissable dollars!

So don’t go away.  It’s going to be a hot and bothered show tonight!♥

Lise Horton has found it strange that shows like Hillbilly Handfishing and American Diggers have found a home on prime time television, but no one has thought to have a reality show competition for romance writers? This post was her tongue-in-cheek answer to that oversight! Happy April Fool’s Day!