Monday, January 14, 2013

Nourish Yourself on a Date For One

By L. S. Brockway
“The Romance Reverend”

Writing can take a lot out of us. Working through scenes, structure, and character development requires a lot of brain power. Sitting at the computer for long stretches-- to research, write and promote your work—can leave you achy. This is why it is so important that we replenish and nourish ourselves – body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to one’s self is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside “Goddess Time” each week for you, and you alone!

We give so much to others, and we give so much love to the characters we created, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with one’s self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward balanced, loving relationships with others—and also having the wherewithal to do the work we love.

Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that “someone” is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure – an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.

Start off with something simple. Try a “self love bath.” Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week – and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others—the kind we read about and write about in romantic fiction! At the most basic level – a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate… and get a new perspective on life.

How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you’ve been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. Let’s not forget indulging in our passion for reading; sometimes escaping into someone else’s book is the best rest when we need time out from our own creations! The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly? This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all time, or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way: if you were dating someone special, wouldn’t you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first… this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!

© Copyright 2013 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. All Rights Reserved.

Rev. L.S. Brockway is also known as “The Romance Reverend.” As a minister, she specializes in marrying people in love from all backgrounds and faiths and helping couples and their families through wedding stress. She has been writing about sex, love and matters of the heart and soul for 30 years as a columnist. She is author of 13 books, including four erotic romances, and is currently writing in the new adult fiction genre as C.J. Hughs. Visit her at


  1. If you don't treat yourself as a Queen, no one else will. We might as well start off, how we mean to go on. LOL ---maria ferrer

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  3. Can I please inquire who and where this goddess statue is? Love it!