During my lunch hour the other day, I was reading Joseph Campbell’s HERO WITH A THOUSAND FACES, on my iBook application. I was struck by the part about dreams being the stuff of unresolved childhood issues, which are the seeds of unrealized potential. As adults, we may have to regress to find those seeds again, in order to undergo transformation, which is a way of returning to the immortality of our soul. That got me to thinking about God, faith, and fate. And, of course, you can’t ponder such things without thinking about love, soul mates, and a sense of purpose. Thus, the theme for this month’s Keynotes, “Fated Love,” was born.
And then I needed
to pee.
When I returned
from my bathroom break and illuminated my iPhone, iBook had mysteriously
switched to my Nook application, and my animal totems book was open to the
Kookaburra, of all things. The subtitle read, “The Kookaburra is your power
animal.”
Huh. Well, that was
curious! Not only because some ghostly hand had decided I needed to read this
passage (and is apparently up on the new OS 7), but also because I had no idea
what a Kookaburra was. Turns out, a Kookaburra is a bird.
The text said: To manifest your dreams, stay centered,
maintain your focus and determination, and let nothing deter you. The best way
to overcome your fear is to face it and do whatever you need to do in order to
accomplish your objective. Release behavior patterns that no longer serve you.
I started crying.
Yes, again, at work (but not as hard as I did this morning on the toilet). I
think the waterworks were for three reasons: One, because I felt like somebody
was paying attention to me (so what if only an angel or disembodied spirit? Who
am I to be picky?) Two, because it was terribly vague (if the great beyond
wanted to give me a don’t-give-up pat on the back, they could have at least
included a time table. Like, “An agent will pick you up in approximately three
months at 18:00 hours”). And three, I wasn’t sure if they were talking about
ambition or love.
Naturally, I had to
get my boss’s input. She said, “I don’t think whatever is in charge could get
any clearer than that. Your need for further clarification is just a
manifestation of your baseless doubts about achieving what you are obviously
destined to do. Take it for what it is, which is a ‘good job, keep up the good
work.’ Focus on what you’ve been doing and it will be fine.” Have I mentioned I
have an awesome boss?
“But what if I end
up alone for the rest of my life? I’d like to think I would be okay with that,
but I wouldn’t be. And I think that makes me flawed and weak and common.”
She rolled her
eyes. “Men are not going to let you live the rest of your life alone. It’s not
possible. Look at you.”
“No, but what if it is?”
“It’s not.”
“Youth
sags, and beauty fades.”
“Stop
assuming everyone else’s problems. You’re not them. Your story is your own.”
Later that
evening, I sought the male opinion from a pen pal. He said, “You won’t be
alone, you require someone.”
Ugh! I
cringed. Like I had gone to school naked and forgotten my homework on the bus.
“How do you know that about me? Doesn’t that make me co-dependent and
pathetic?”
“It’s not,
Red. Everyone wants someone. It’s human nature.”
As much as
I’d like to deny it, relationships have deeply affected my self-concept, (not
the least of which, my failed marriage). Campbell states, “In the United States
there is a pathos of inverted emphasis: the goal is not to grow old, but to
remain young; not to mature away from mother, but to cleave to her. And so,
while husbands are worshiping their boyhood shrines...their wives, even after
fourteen years of marriage and two fine children produced and raised, are still
on the search for love--which can come to them only through the mythical crea tures
of their dreams or the big screen.” I don’t know one woman over thirty who
wouldn’t understand this statement (and a few over the age of twenty-five).
Look at the
popularity of Romance fiction, for example, which was the largest share of the
U.S. consumer market in 2012 at 16.7 percent. Of that 16.7 percent, 91 percent
are women. And these women are no morons (as my grandmother would say), these
are women between the ages of 30 and 54, earning between $50,000.00 and
$99,000.00 per year, more than half of which are married or have a significant
other. And they are loyal readers; 44% percent considering themselves “frequent
readers,” and 41% percent have been reading for over twenty years.
Okay, so,
here I am. Trying to be a romance writer, a weaver of fantasies and a proponent
of the “happily ever after,” aka, Fated Love. Maybe that seems like a wrong direction
to take if I want to find love in reality, but a belief in fated love is closer
to reality than you might think.
Campbell
states, “The happy ending is justly scorned as a misrepresentation; for the
world, as we know it, as we have seen it, yields but one ending; death…and the
crucifixion of our heart... The fairytale of happiness ever after…belongs to
the never-never land of childhood…just as the myth of heaven ever after is for
the old. [But] these in the ancient world were regarded as of a higher rank
than tragedy…of a deeper truth, of a more difficult realization, [and] a
sounder structure. The happy ending of the fairy tale, the myth, and the divine
comedy of the soul, is to be read, not as a contradiction, but as a
transcendence of the universal tragedy of man.”
In other
words, the happy ending is not a contradiction to “real life,” but hints at the
transcendence of the soul—which is immortal, sustaining, and capable of
transforming. To believe in the happy ending is to integrate anxiety-provoking
ambiguities. This helps us endure and change, when the world around us remains
the same.
I like
that. And I’ll take it. In fact, between Campbell and the Kookaburra, I’m
feeling pretty damn optimistic right now. So, I will embrace the Kookaburra’s
magic, and keep reading and writing happy endings. Because in every happy
ending, we are fated to find love, whichever way you slice it. ♥
Mac Perry is a Creative Arts
Therapist, adjunct professor, and aspiring author of urban fantasy. When she is
not corralling her three-year-old son, she is blogging and working on her
passion’s pursuit. To learn more, check out her web site at www.macperry.com,
or her blog at www.macperrysblog.blogspot.com.
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