I used to write love scenes like fluorescent lighting: I
revealed everything. Like a sportscaster giving the play-by-play, I accounted
for every breath, every moan, every facial expression, every body part.
Then, I stopped doing that.
Call me a prude, but knowing exactly what was going on in
every love scene really turned me off. In Chinese ink painting, the concept of
negative space is just as important to the composition as the dark strokes of
ink on the paper. The idea is to capture the essence of the thing in as few
brushstrokes as possible.
Now, I try to do the same thing with my words that Chinese
painters do with their brushes: I try to build emotion and sensuousness by not
only carefully choosing words, but by choosing to not use words. I say things
simply. I use fewer adjectives and name fewer body parts. I write the essence
of the love scene and not the play-by-play.
For example, one love scene that I wrote in my book, THE MUSE,
was described entirely through the heroine’s drunken flashback. She barely
remembers her night of passion, so the love scene is fragmented, told only in
blurry snapshots. Here’s an excerpt:
She could only recall the night in flashes—like photographs
in a slide show:
Banging her knee against an iron bistro chair as they
scurried, mid-kiss, back into the bedroom… The touch of his fingertips as they
brushed against the nape of her neck… The feel of his abdomen under her
fingers, ridged yet soft when she’d peeled off his shirt.
Also, in the climax of my story, when hero and heroine have
finally settled their differences, worked out their misunderstandings,
confessed their feelings towards each other, and come together for their first
real kiss, this is what I write:
William drew her close and kissed her. They came up for air
some time later, wild-eyed and flushed.
By not describing the softness or wetness or slowness or
deepness of the kiss, I might be disappointing some readers, who have been
waiting the entire book for this moment. But, actually, this kiss leaves room
for imagination. It’s coy. It continues to entice and titillate, even as it
relieves tension.
Am I suggesting you cut out entire love scenes? Am I
suggesting that we stop describing sex or kisses or longing looks? No. But your
writing doesn’t need to be weighed down with endless description of who’s doing
what to whom and where they’re doing it. That actually slows the pace and, to
me, is less satisfying. Sometimes, writing less makes the reader use her
imagination more.
Fluorescent lights show everything. They’re unsexy. Now, I
write like candlelight, painting my love scenes with a gentler, less revealing
light.♥
Jessica Evans is the author of THE
MUSE: A Pride and Prejudice Variation. She
teaches sixth grade English in a New York City public school and, in her spare
time, she reads a lot of romance and Young Adult literature, enjoys walks in
Prospect Park, and cooks and eats as healthily as possible. She lives in
Brooklyn, NY. Visit her website: http://jessicaevans.merytonpress.com
Face-book:
https://www.face-book.com/jessicaevansbooks;
Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/jevansbooks;
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/JessicaEvansBooks.
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