We are talking Self-Sabotage this week.
Join us as authors Maria Cox and Alexis Daria
give us their take on the subject.
Do you ask yourself, what keeps me from meeting my goals? Why do others achieve theirs successfully? Most of us have goals, big and small, but the most realistic goals in the world won’t materialize if you engage in self-defeating behaviors.
So, what is self-sabotage?
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
In today’s business environment we’re “on” all the time. All eyes are on us to achieve or fail. It’s important that we don’t give in to negative feelings and risk spiraling out of control.
If you’re self-sabotaging you’re not alone. Studies suggest that 85 percent of people engage in some form of self-sabotage.
Below are two of the most common behaviors:
We all have some regrets, whether they're about something we did (if only I hadn't dropped out of college), or something we didn't do (if only I’d ask for that raise). To dwell on these “if only” fantasies will only keep you idling in neutral.
The “worry wart”
You fret over things that really shouldn't matter. You fear that if you fail others will think less of you. You doubt your abilities even though “you’re very capable”. Listen, we all have insecurities; we just have to learn to manage them effectively.
Here are a few things that experts suggest we practice in order to minimize the self-deprecating inner talk:
Smile. Right now
Emit good energy
The energy you send out into the world comes back.
Do for others
If you’re wallowing in your own misery, why not pull aside and regroup? Focusing on others is a great way to gain perspective.
See the bright side
Remember that the universe is in balance. Things aren’t always as bad as they seem.
Get grounded and stay grounded
Positive thinking without positive actions gets you nowhere. Be prepared to do the work.
Especially at yourself!
Anytime you feel like your plan has gone off course, fight against shutting down. If you get a bad review, don’t throw in the towel. Before you give up on your strategy, before you decide to give up on your dream, sit down and plan a new approach.♥
Maria Cox is a PRO member of Romance Writers of America; she has also served as President of the Phoenix Writers Club. Maria has been writing stories since she was a young girl. She picked up her first romance novel when she was just eleven years old and has loved the genre ever since. Maria writes sensual romance, stories that showcase strong, sassy, and sexy characters. When not writing fiction, Maria works as a technical writer. She lives in Queens, New York. Please visit her site www.mariacox.net and/or follow her on Twitter.
COME BACK TOMORROW AS AUTHOR ALEXIS DARIA
TALKS ABOUT SELF-SABOTAGE AND PLAYING SMALL.