Wednesday, November 24, 2010


"Everything but sex and cupcakes," I said to Rachel, as soon as we were settled at Candle Cafe. She is about a lot more than sex and cupcakes--for which she is rightfully very popular. Whether it is (sadly the upcoming last) In The Flesh Reading series or one of her erotic anthologies, which I recently blogged about, it is the wildly successful cupcake blog she runs--she even manages to combine sex and cupcakes!

I almost was not sure I was going to be able to do this interview because I had not heard from her. I was dumbfounded when I read that she had lost her iPhone and asked her if she even wanted to go on...

...the show went on! Rachel was a trooper without her beloved iPhone, even though she talked about getting another one right after we met up. But we had a great conversation before that. Engaging, smart and open, Rachel started out saying how people expect her to be an expert with sex. But it was bonding over food, pantyhose from Urban Outfitters and trying to find calm in a hectic city like New York, where I connected with her, as well as our attachment to our mobile devices and apps like Foursquare!

I had interviewed Rachel before when she had just gotten a device in which she could post a blog post and a picture she had just taken at almost the same time. Dumbstruck, sitting on the floor beside her in a cupcake shop in Bay Ridge, I was in complete awe and admiration of her. She is one of the most industrious people I know and that is why she is able to get everything done -- because even though she has an unbelievable schedule, she is passionate about what she does and takes her business seriously. A consummate professional--the show went on with a lost iPhone--who does not forget to take time for herself.  We all can take a lesson from her on how to live life professionally and personally. Read below for her bits and pieces...

P.S.-- Rachel must have a new device because I see her on Foursquare again, the show continues to go on!

People think I can fix their sex problems or people say someone said that, oh she must be really good @ sex because she writes about the stuff. I think it is about being a good writer. It is not about what you have personally done. It is universal; maybe you have done y but you might have to write about x and see how those two go together. You are going to eventually write about something you have not done. Writing is informed by your life experience, it does not have to be literally what happens to you.

I am very amazed that I was that calm (about losing my iPhone). I was thinking, what can I do to fix the crisis? I have to figure out what I have to do. It is easier to buy a néw iPhone than a pair of glasses.

Some people lift weights; I am a numbers person and like to have a certain numerical goal when I’m working out. I see how many calories I am working out on the elliptical while reading Us Weekly and People. I am currently reading LORD LIGHTING by Jenny Brown, but I cannot read it on the elliptical because it will not stay open.

I am kind of a hoarder. People think I am joking. I do not buy like a hundred of everything, but I do not have enough space in my apartment to know where to put everything. I’m bad at getting rid of stuff even when I know I have to.

I love fishnets.  I think they are warm and you can wear them with everything. I wrote a short story about them called "Fishnet Queen;" it's a story in the anthology F  IS FOR FETISH (edited by Alison Tyler).

I think that New York is a hard place for keeping a schedule, for writing and exercising. Taking time for yourself seems like a commitment to yourself here.

(On checking your mobile device) I think that people who do it do not think it is rude. I conduct everything through e-mail, so it feels really urgent but it does interrupt your brain. I walk across the Brooklyn and Williamsburg Bridges for peace, but I have my phone in my hand. I think a lot when I walk.

I will have an idea and lie under the covers and think about the sentences, but if I don’t write them down they go away. I have dozens of half started stories, and I do not know what they are but they are something. I write in my journal. You forget stuff if you do not write it down there.

I am going to write a post about my iPhone. I am going to share it even though I still feel annoyed; by the end of the writing I'll feel less annoyed. It forced me to think about it more than I would if you have that ritualistic time to do that.

I write down things because I am not confrontational. Sometimes it is not appropriate to tell someone how I feel so I write it down.

I eat cupcakes a lot so I do like have to have dessert, but I’m much more of a savory person. Potatoes and cheese are my favorite foods. If the guy at my train station sells Tabasco Cheez-Its, it is my little snack while I am waiting for the train.

I am not a calm person; I drink a lot of caffeine. I am trying to be a calmer person. I get stressed out a lot, like if I am running late and waiting on a train platform. If I am running really late, I have to tell the other person.  I am learning I cannot control everything; I cannot control the train being late.

I miss days when I can stay in bed late and write. I need three hours to get an hour of writing done.

I do not write every day or go to the gym every day, but I blog almost every day, usually about cupcakes.

My fantasy is to be on a resort or hot warm beach by myself. It sounds anti-social but I need that. It is very hard to do everything you want to do, see everyone, especially in New York, before it starts to feel like pressure.


  1. Great Post. I was thinking about going down to her live mike thingy... then I read over some of my stuff and figured it may be too wild...

    Thanks for the informative and peek into your "other" life Rachel.


  2. Fascinating insight and I feel so much better now about my own: hoarding, starting but not finishing stories, getting enough done in not enough time and dealing with the hectic pace of life in NYC when what I'd really like to be doing is sitting in the woods at my cabin on the lake in PA and writing to the sound of bird calls and lapping waves on the shore. Thanks for giving us this wonderful chance to "meet" Rachel and find out how she juggles all the demands yet still is so successful and prolific! Nice to get to know a fellow chapter-mate. So tell me, Rachel - do you have pumpkin cupcakes for Thanksgiving?