Monday, February 14, 2011
LOVE AT FIRST KISS
By Mageela Troche
Jose and I met up in Roseland. With the disco light swirling and the bass vibrating from the powered dance floor and up through the feet and along your nerves until you just have to dance, I stood across from him. We said nothing. We barely spared each other a glance. I was a snotty sixteen-year-old girl who was just to fly to talk. Then his friend called me over and asked why I didn't talk to Jose. I didn't take the blame and told him that it was Jose's fault. Being the Alpha Male Jose was, he came up and kissed me. The world actually melted away, drip by drip until it blurred and swirled like a LSD trip. His heartbeat synced up with mine. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me close to him and I knew as I clutched his shoulders that this was the one place I wanted to be. For an Air Force brat, I had found my home and it was with him wherever he was.
Our arguments still continued but people who witness the equivalent of a New York teenage opera, it seemed we would break up at any minute. But those same people never saw the moments when it was me and him, sitting on a park bench planning our future. Or in the winter riding the number 1 train and he encouraging me to do any of the crazy plans I had. Or him questioning me about school and doing my homework, when any moment I had I wanted to be with him. Few witnessed his tenderness to me or his protectiveness.
Of course, us being two stubborn people we did break up but always found our way back to each other. The last time our relationship end, it was the longest separation, instead of the two weeks, it was two years. I went off to college and started making plans for my future when he came back into my life.
Both of us now older and more mature, our arguments ceased and he loved that I was in college. He asked me what I wanted out of life and us two being together. I shared my plans, college, law school, marriage and kids. I wanted the American dream. He wanted to rush to Las Vegas and get married that night. I thought of my financial aid, I had an almost full ride and without that scholarship my plans would crumble so we agree upon my graduation we'd get married.
Every Thursday during my Junior semester, he called and we chatted about everything in our life. We stayed on the phone for hours. His low voice that could only be compared to a sensual scratchiness with a Latin flavor always sent a jolt through me. If scientist could have harness the energy surging through me, I could have lit the world for a year. Those calls always made me feel that I can accomplish anything and I forged ahead because Jose believed in me and loved me. My life was perfect.
Then Columbus vacation came. I came home and called him upon my arrival. He worried that my friends and I were driving through crazy mountain towns in the middle of the night. I arrived back at the city at 2 am. We argued. Before we hung up, he said the three words he never spoken but showed in his actions, "I love you."
I didn't say it back for the first time. I was always the one who spoke those words.
Exactly seven days from that day, he was buried. Jose was murdered and bled to death in the street by himself.
My life died that day. I never went onto law school or marriage or kids. If I couldn't have him, I didn't want anyone else. He is the love of my life. I still feel the weight of his arms around me. I still smell the spicy, leathery scent of his cologne.
Oddly enough, the name Jose plays an important part of my life--my father, my maternal grandfather and uncle all share that same name. I had cringed when I first learned his name but each Jose has made me the person I am. But my Jose, he gave me the greatest gift of all, he gave me his love and accepted all mine. ♥
Mageela Troche has been published in short fiction by True Love and True Romance magazines. Visit her at www.mageelatroche.com